look at how pathetic i am. so many things been happening at home. and all of it,frustrating much. and to the extend that i had a heavy mental breakdown this week,somehow i couldnt find someone to talk to? or maybe it's all just because of me. you see,the fact that i'm the only one schooling in this house (excludes my niece) or wait,i'm the only teen at home,everyone in this house thinks they can bring me down/demoralise me. fuvk all those bullshits please.

and when i want to stand up for my own rights,parents get in and stop me. what the fuck is this? i mean i dont get it. i dont freaking get what they actually want. so just because he's an elder brother,im the younger one,he's more experienced,and i'm not,i should be blamed? just because of his stupid perfume bag,everyone in the house is alarmed. and i dont know how,everything about me will just come out from his mouth. and wait,let me give you a slight notice,i didnt even touch nor disturb nor communicate nor look at him or whatever shit while he was looking for his EXPENSIVE perfume. for fucking goodness sake,he gets on my nerves all time round.

and thanks to him,i can see a real guy in him. all qualities-stubborn,living in extreme self-denial (which i know i am too),brand-conscious,self-centered,immature (for him with the fact he's turning 30 real soon!) and the list goes on. i hate him. get mad or sick at him each time i see him. but i cant avoid not seeing him cos we're staying in the same house.

and i've been thinking deeply now. so deep that it's kind of out of the box for someone aged like me to think like that. let me give you a clearer situation ah..

see,you're living with 5 people far way older than you and put it la,at least 52 years old is the youngest. and having them around really stopped me to ponder a moment. yes. and it's like. you can imagine yourself in the same situation as them or you know,nobody knows whether you might be like that one day (this is what my grandma told me! just that it's a translation ah). it's like an eye-opener for you. and like what you see in the tv,it's happening right now,NOW,right in front of your eyes. and for me,it would be useful for a lifetime learning experience :)

you guys wana know something? a quote i got from sbs bus mobtv-"GREEDY is a fat demon with a small mouth"

and sometimes i hope i didnt even meet my brother (something i dont wish to address him) cause like i said. he gives a good example for a male. role model would be a better word (insert extremely sarcastic voice). let's just see 10 years down the road. when i'm able to work,get my own pay,and i wonder will he be trying to get money from younger ones/older ones like what he is doing now.